The Real Fellowship
by Knight Thunder
Summary: A Fellowship of nine set out from Rivendell... Loads of cross-overs! FINISHED. Check out sequel "The Real Towers"!
1. The First Introduction

A fellowship of nine sets out from Rivendell. But who are they, and what are they like?

There is Gandalf, the wizard who has problems with his short-term memory, and is often quoting Albus Dumbledore.

Then there is Frodo, a midget who obsessively collects antique rings and bracelets.

There is Aragorn, who likes to poke people and say "poke" while doing it.

There's Legolas, who often takes out his make-up box and strikes revenge on Aragorn for constantly poking everyone. Also spends a lot of time counting how much strips of hair he has.

There is Gimli, who, for some unknown reasons, seemed to gather inspiration from Gandalf and likes to quote Bella Swan.

There is Pippin, another midget who drinks and smokes a lot, yet is never drunk or even tipsy. WHAT IS HIS SECRET?

There is Merry, (yet another midget) who discovered a way of avoiding Aragorn's pokes – poke him back.

There is Sam, the fat midget, who likes PO-TA-TOES.

And finally there is Boromir, that weird guy who listens to Metallica and Slipknot music on his MP3 Player all the time.

And thus, their journey began.

"Gandalf," whined Legolas, "Aragorn stole my make-up box!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Shut up, Harry!" shouted Gandalf.

"Who's Harry?" questioned Merry.

"Gandalf, go to Tesco and buy me a new make-up box!" demanded Legolas.

"I am afraid I will not, ah, go quietly," said Gandalf in a very thoughtful voice. "No, I will not go quietly at all, Cornelius."

"Who in Middle-Earth is Cornelius?" asked Merry, getting a little annoyed. "And Harry?"

"HELLO THERE!" cried Pippin brightly.

"Oh, Jake," said Gimli, "you sound horrible."

Pippin blinked. "I'm not Jake..."

Boromir missed the conversation. He was listening to his MP3 Player. "Bow to your MASTER! MASTER!" he sang along to the song.

Aragorn poked him. "Poke," he said plainly.

Frodo crept up behind Legolas. Frodo had a great talent – pick-pocketing. He slid his hand into Legolas's pocket and took out a bracelet with a picture of Tinkerbell on it. He crept away and slid it into his own. He squealed in delight.

Aragorn poked him. "Poke."

"Where is Sam?" wondered Legolas aloud.

"Oh," said Pippin. "He got mad at me because I poured some ale in his legendary PO-TA-TOES meal, so he started it again. He keeps mentioning that Gandalf should go to Tesco and buy some vanilla essence." Pippin blinked. "I think that's what he said anyways," he added notably.

Boromir was singing yet again. "It's the only thing, that stops -!"

"SHUT UP, HARRY!" Gandalf roared into his face.

"Who is Harry?!" asked Merry annoyed.

"Jacob, what do you know about motorcycles?" Gimli asked Pippin.

"Who is JACOB?!" Pippin cried out.

- - - - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? Will Gandalf go to Tesco? Will the rest of the group figure out who is Cornelius, Harry, and Jacob? Will Sam make a good dinner? Will Boromir shut up?

You can find out soon! TBC


	2. The Thief and the Meal

Gandalf went to Tesco. However, he forgot why he went there and came back without having bought anything.

"But... " whimpered Legolas, almost in tears. "Gandalf! I wanna new make-up box!"

"SHUT UP, HARRY!"

"Who IS HARRY?!" demanded Merry furiously.

"Aragorn," Pippin said tearfully, "Gimli won't leave me alone!"

Aragorn poked Gimli, "Poke."

"Get away from me!" Gimli cried out, shooing Aragorn away.

Boromir stole Pippin's drink and pipe and pipeweed. He threw away the pipe and pipeweed. Pippin was getting fed up, not knowing who the thief was.

"Where are my stuff... ?" he asked, looking as if he was in pain.

Meanwhile, Boromir and Aragorn were getting tipsy off the ale, also stuffing their faces with sandwiches.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT!" Pippin burst out. "WHERE IS MY DRINK?!"

"Careful, Jake. Easy. Calm down," Gimli tried to sooth him.

Pippin blinked. "I'M NOT JAKE!"

Boromir went over to him and admitted that he stole his drink (he didn't say anything about his pipe and pipeweed though).

"We got drink and sammiches," said Boromir contently.

"We just need smokes and women," added Aragorn, looking deep in thought.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sam was trying to find ingredients to his PO-TA-TOES meal.

"Need vanilla essence," he muttered angrily. "And some corn. Or beans," he added dully.

Sam popped a few grapes into his mouth at once. He started choking on it and spat it out. They were the ones he had soaked in vinegar for his meal. If anyone knew, they would vomit.

"Hi." Merry appeared.

"Um... " was what came to Sam's mind first. "Hi. What's up?"

"Well," Merry said, "Gandalf refuses to tell us who is Harry and Cornelius." Then Merry added as an afterthought, "And Gimli is calling Pippin 'Jake'. Weird things are happening."

"Yes, Pippin poured his ale into my meal while I was making it. Had to start again." Sam looked grumpily at what he has cooked.

"Oh yeah, and Boromir stole Pip's booze."

Legolas appeared from the same spot as Merry had. "I brought you vanilla essence." He threw a small bottle at Sam, who caught it, and dropped it. It did not break though. Shoo!

- - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? Will something ruin the meal again? Will Aragorn get smokes and women? What will happen to Pippin's pipe and pipeweed?

You can find out soon! TBC


	3. The Fear and the Spaceship

"I love Jacob's crackers," called Gimli out brightly.

"If he says 'Jacob' one more time I swear I'm going to kill him," muttered Pippin darkly.

Suddenly Legolas came running into the camp.

"I... saw- that thing- it... " he spluttered.

"Stop that dramatic entrance speech," Aragorn told him. "Spit it out."

Legolas glared at him. "I saw that... white, creepy, THING." His eyes widened with fear.

"Fear not, Harry," said Gandalf with calming eyes. "What is this creature – what does it look like?"

"It has, um, horns..." the elf stammered, "and hooves, and it looks CREEPY."

"We should see what it is, just in case," warned Merry.

"But we have to tell Sam," added Frodo.

"We should all go then," decided Boromir for all of them, "just in case it is dangerous."

So they packed up everything, and left the camp, setting off in the direction where Legolas came from.

They closed in on a little clearing, and grazing, there stood ... a white goat. The elf shrieked. The others stared.

They heard voices from nearby. Orc voices.

"Yrch!" Legolas cried out.

"NO! IT'S MINE! I picked it up, it belongs to ME!"

"I saw it FIRST, I pointed it out, I saw WAY before you."

The two orcs reached the clearing, and as they saw the fellowship, they stopped silently. They were tugging on a dead chicken.

Aragorn examined them. He'd have had preferred to find smokes and women. Now he found orcs. Typical.

One of them cried out, let go of the chicken, and ran away.

The other one looked at the dead bird. "Yay!" he shouted.

Aragorn walked up to him and poked him, "Poke."

The orc screamed and ran away, clutching the chicken.

They turned their attention back to the goat. Legolas whimpered.

"So..." Boromir began, "Legolas is afraid of goats. What's next?"

CRASH. BANG. BOOM.

Something huge fell from the sky, hitted a nearby hill. The fellowship ventured to it, and saw a machine, with a lot of crystals.

A creature came out of it. It had tentacles coming from his chin, and horns from his forehead. He had goat-like legs (at which Legolas stared at a lot).

"I'm sorry," the creature said, "our spaceship Exodar crashed, we seek refuge."

Several such creatures came from behind him.

- - - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? What are these mysterious creatures? Will they meet the orcs again? Will Gimli say 'Jacob' again and will Pippin kill him?

You can find out soon! TBC


	4. Velen and the Tree

Legolas stared at the creature's legs. He whimpered.

"We-" the creature was cut off as he saw something speeding towards him.

Legolas had thrown his make-up box at his face and it hit him square in the mouth.

Legolas ran off.

"Harry," Gandalf called after him, "Harry, come back!"

"Um... so," Aragorn managed to say, "Who are you?"

The creature removed the make-up box from his mouth with an unfriendly expression. "I am Prophet Velen."

"Come again?"

"WHAT are you?" Merry burst out before the creature could answer.

"I am a DRAENEI," said Prophet Velen, obviously very annoyed.

"Prophet Velen the Draenei," nodded Frodo seriously.

"At least they aren't evil walrus-guys trying to take over Middle-Earth," muttered Sam darkly.

"What's wrong with that one?" Velen asked, looking pointedly towards Boromir, who was shaking his hair, pretending to play a guitar in the air.

"Never mind him," Pippin replied, "He is always like that."

"Um... okay," the Draenei said uncertainly, before he put a more serious face on once more, "May I ask who are YOU?"

Silence...

"No," said Gimli.

Aragorn sighed, knowing he'd have to introduce everyone. "Gandalf, Gimli, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Sam, Boromir," he said, pointing to them as he called their names, "and I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the-"

"Stop it, man, you know that's annoying when you start giving all detail about your ancestry and all," mumbled Frodo.

"Well, at least I don't collect stupid rings and bracelets all the time!" Aragorn teased back.

"Anyways," the ranger continued, "and the elf you just saw run away is Legolas."

"An elf?" Velen questioned. "What elf? Night or High?"

Silence...

Finally Pippin broke the silence. "I think we should go find Legolas."

Everyone agreed. Even Prophet Velen came along, some of his people coming along.

Finally they found Legolas. He was hugging a tree with his eyes closed and a smug smile on his face.

Everyone stared.

"Noob," Velen said finally.

"Boob," came Aragorn's voice (rhyming, coincidence?), staring at a female Draenei's breasts. The females looked quite different from males; they were smaller in built, they didn't have tentacles on their faces, and they were more humanlike. Very pretty too.

- - - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? Will Aragorn finally get his wish – women? Why was Legolas hugging a tree? What will happen to Prophet Velen and his people?

You can find out soon... or you won't O.O

Anywho... TBC


	5. The Stampede and the Falcon

Prophet Velen sighed and looked at the girl. "If you must, lock it," he said.

The draenei nodded, looking a little frightened.

A living skeleton ran past. "Have you seen Valkyrie?"

Silence...

"Come again?"

"If you say come again," Merry said threateningly to Pippin, holding onto the hilt of his short sword, "I will shove this up your-"

"Jeez, jeez, calm down!" Pippin cried out, backing away.

"Never mind..." the skeleton walked away grumpily.

"So," Gimli managed to say, "Why is Edward hugging a tree?"

"He isn't called Edward..."

Gandalf patted Legolas's shoulder. He continued hugged the tree with a smile.

"Uh, I will do it," Boromir burst out. He kicked Legolas's feet from under him. Legolas seemed to wake up, making a sound like 'whoopah' as he thumped to the ground.

"Fallen in love, have we?" Frodo teased.

Legolas blinked.

Meanwhile, Sam was mumbling under his breath. "Dear Diary, today Pip ruined my legendary meal, then we had to pack up so I couldn't finish it, then we found out that Legolas is afraid of goats, then we found two orcs fighting over a dead chicken, then we met these tentacle-face guys, then we found Legolas hugging a tree, and then we saw a walking- no, RUNNING, talking skeleton. WHAT A DAY!"

"Guys," Gimli said. "Guys, where is Aragorn?"

"Where is Kazi?" added Velen.

The ranger and the draenei woman were gone.

Merry giggled and snorted with laughter. "I think I know!"

Haldir was running past them, his face filled with terror. "RUN, RUN YOU FOOLS! OUR LIVES ARE IN DANGER!"

The Fellowship suddenly saw what was wrong. Thousands of fan-girls and Mary-Sues and 10th Walker story writers were running right at them. They were going to get trampled.

Yet someone came to help...

From somewhere above them came a voice; "Here, we'll save you guys!" A spaceship was above them, the entrance was opening and a dark-blonde haired young man was peering out.

The Fellowship and the draenei ran in without hesitating.

"Welcome aboard the Millennium Falcon," the man said, "I'm Luke."

Aragorn wasn't there. Nor was Kazi. They were actually quite busy up a tree, and the stampede not borthering them the least.

- - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? What will happen to Aragorn and Kazi? Who is this Luke? Will Haldir be trampled to death?

You can find out soon... or not 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	6. That's how you trust Draenei

Silence...

Since Aragorn wasn't there, Merry sighed, because he would have to introduce everyone before Gandalf does calling everyone Harry or Cornelius, or before Gimli introduces Legolas and Pippin as Edward and Jake. And he wasn't going to let a blonde introduce them either.

"This is Gandalf," he said, "and this is Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Legolas, Boromir. I am Meriadoc. And," he added, looking hesitantly at Velen, "this is Prophet Velen, along with his people."

"Aha," Luke said uncertainly. "Everyone got here safely?"

"Nope," Gimli replied.

Sam sighed. "Strider and umm... Kazi, yes that's it, Kazi, disappeared shortly before we came here. But we have a good idea where they are, or rather, what they're up to-"

"Yes, yes, that's right enough imformation," Legolas said with a little glare.

"Oh yeah, and Haldir might get trampled," Frodo added, "He wasn't with us, but he ran past us."

"Aha," Luke stammered, quite confused.

A girl came to meet them. She was wearing a white dress and a... a spectacular hairdo.

"Welcome!" she greeted with a smile. "I trust you're hungry?"

Gimli, Pippin, Merry, Sam and Frodo nodded with small grins. Boromir had already stuffed his face with 'sammiches'. Legolas didn't want to lose his slimness. Gandalf- well, he was Gandalf.

Then Velen said something that made the hobbits and the dwarf furious. "No, thank you we have our own provisions," he looked at the lady solemnly, and her smile slid slowly from her face.

"That's how you trust these- these DRAENEI," Pippin told Merry darkly.

Frodo cried out – some creature had just appeared. It was completely covered in hair, yet its body was like a human's.

Merry stared. "Oh – my – f-"

"BEEP," Pippin chimed up.

Merry glared at him, and the smaller hobbit gave him an innocent 'who, me?' look.

Another man appeared.

"This is Chewbacca, guys," he introduced the creature. Chewbacca let out a moan-like noise. Everyone stared.

"It's CREEPY!" exclaimed Sam.

"It is 'HE', not an 'it'," the man said with an unfriendly smile, but then it turned warm again. "I'm Han Solo by the way."

"Cool," was what Legolas said, for he could not think of anything else.

"Harry, could you please hold this for me?" Gandalf asked Frodo, holding out his hat. Frodo rolled his eyes as he said 'Harry' and then he took his hat.

[A light-bulb appeared above his head] Frodo put the hat on his own head. Everyone except for the draenei roared with laughter. Boromir dropped his MP3 player and his earphones fell out.

- - - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? Will someone die or have a heart attack from laughing? Will they go back to find Aragorn and Kazi?

You can find out soon! Or not... 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	7. Shall we go South?

"OMAFAKAGAH!" cried Boromir, lifting up his MP3 Player. "It BROKE!"

"Well done, man," Legolas patted Frodo's shoulder. "It's thanks to you."

Frodo pulled off the wizard's hat. "I am no man!" he said, and he cried out and pretended to punch somebody in mid-air.

"That ain't your line, mate," Sam informed him.

"I just wanted a dramatic scene..." Frodo mumbled, shaking his head.

"Here's your hat Gandalf," Pippin said, picking up the hat and offering it to wizard.

"Oh, thank you, Harry."

Meanwhile, Boromir was sobbing. Velen patted her back.

"Are are gonna go back and get Aragorn?" Gimli enquired. ("And Kazi," Prophet Velen added)

"If you really want to," sighed Han, "but you said that they were busy-" Legolas's hard angry stare made him shut up.

"At least now we are free of his pokes," noted Merry.

"What about Haldir? Will we go get him?" Pippin raised his voice.

"Okay, we can get Haldar,or Hildir, or, whatever-his-name-is," Luke decided.

"Where d'you reckon he went?" Sam asked.

"If my calculations are correct, Lothlórien," said Legolas.

"Where the heck is that?" Han demanded.

Chewbacca moaned.

"Meh, I'll control this thing there," said Boromir.

"No way, hosay!" Luke shouted. "Just tell me which way."

"Wait... how could Haldir go to Lórien now? We are south of Rivendell now, and Lothlórien is across the mountain range, south-east of here."

Everyone stared. It was Pippin who spoke.

"What?" he questioned.

"You sounded all smart," said Merry.

Pippin feigned a blush.

"But, hm, wasn't Haldir going south?"

"I'm confused!" stated Gimli.

"Who cares?" Gandalf replied. Gimli glared at him.

"But I'M confused too!" Pip exclaimed.

"Same here!"

"Me four!"

"Uh okay, so we'll just go south until we find Haldir. If we don't find him, that will be because he didn't go south."

They all agreed, while Velen sulked in a corner.

- - - - - - - - - - -

What will happen next? Did Haldir go south? Or was he trampled? Is Boromir's MP3 Player gone for good?

You can find out soon... or not 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	8. Thank you, Clorox bleach!

"What- GUYS! I CAN SEE STRIDER!" exclaimed Sam.

"Oh My... WHERE?"

"Right below us!"

Aragorn was walking with Kazi. The ranger had a box in his left hand, his other hand locked with the draenei's.

"Well, maybe we should pick them up...? I mean, they don't seem busy anymore," Pippin stuttered the last words, not daring to look at Legolas.

So they went and got them.

"Ohey," Aragorn giggled. "Fun- hic! You should go to th- hic! Nike store over- hic! there. Great deals, I got this- hic! nice little pair o' sneakers ther- hic!" He giggled again.

"What the heck is wrong with him?" Merry asked worriedly.

"He probably had a little drink," Gimli confided the information.

"Ringwraiths!" Legolas cried out. The Ringwraiths were circling above them, upon their winged fell beasts.

Gandalf pointed his staff at them. Some light, liquid-like thingy came pouring out of it, showering the Ringwraiths, which flay, terrified.

And so it was that Gandalf blinded the Ringwraiths by the power of the all-purpose Clorox bleach.

The Fellowship looked up. The Millennium Falcon was gone, along with Prophet Velen, and the others.

Kazi looked at the ground sulkily. "I don't want to go with you."

"Well too bad," said Frodo shaking his head with a stupid expression at the draenei. Kazi was taken aback a little.

"Where d'you s'pose we are?" Boromir asked, clutching his broken MP3 Player.

"Near the entrance of Moria, I think."

"Whoa, there is shopping centre near the entrance!" shouted Boromir, his face starting to shine with joy at the thought that he can have a new MP3 Player, or something even better!

"May Ilúvatar save us from the terrible wrath of music that Boromir likes- or loves," Sam murmured to himself, though everyone heard except for Boromir.

"No, we cannot delay," Aragorn said. He suddenly seemed completely sober again.

"Strider is right," Merry declared.

It was nightfall by the time they reached the western entrance of Moria. Beside it was a lake, and a dead octopus-like creature beside is. There was a festival at the lake; there was a big sign saying 'FISHING EXTRAVAGANZA'.

The Fellowship examined the corpse of the dead creature, and then entered Moria.

They saw Haldir on the ground, snivelling.

"Haha, sucker tried to run through Moria," the dwarf laughed.

Haldir, half awake, scowled at Gimli.

Aragorn sat down and started to take off his boots.

"What are you doing?" Pippin asked him.

Aragorn did not answer. He opened the box of that he had with him, and took out the shoes in it. He put them on.

"They look, um, very stylish," Legolas sniggered.

An orc scuttled by. Gandalf sprayed bleach over it. It ran away, making strange noises.

"I do not think that our presence will go unnoticed," Boromir sighed.

Kazi glared at everyone. She went over to Haldir. "These guys are assholes, are they not?" she asked him.

Haldir nodded painfully.

"Well, let us get going now then, or we will be going here for weeks."


	9. The Danceoff and the Bazaar

"Why do you drag HIM along too?" Aragorn asked dully.

"Sure I can't just leave him here!" Kazi exclaimed, hugging Haldir.

They were halfway across the Mines of Moria. Kazi didn't want to leave Haldir. Afterall, they both hating this stupid, like, what, Fellowship? They seemed more like enemies-friends, half neutral, half hating each other. AND- Kazi thought –Haldir is so cute!

"Pip and I are hungry," Merry said to everyone else. They groaned, except for Frodo, Sam and Gimli.

Pippin shot him an angry look. "I did NOT say anything like that! But that doesn't been that I'm not..." he added hesitantly, as Legolas and Strider gave him a suspicious look.

Aragorn occasionally lifted one of his legs high in the air, showing off his runners. "So comf'table," he sighed dreamily.

Gimli went over to Pippin. "Okay, I won't call you Jake anymore," he said. Pippin stared. "And I won't call you Edward," he added to Legolas, as the elf glared at him.

"AHA!" Boromir's loud voice made them all jump. "A STAGE! Let's have a DANCE-OFF!" he grinned.

"But..." Gimli faltered, "You can't dance on BALIN!" He stared at the tomb.

"Who cares!" Boromir said, not even listening to him.

He looked to a random person there. "Uhm, Sam, how about you sing us a nice song. Maybe some pop, or something that we can dance to."

Sam blinked. Then he muttered something about the fact that he 'can't sing'.

Boromir glowered at him, standing on the tomb, ignoring Gimli's hard looks.

So Sam started. "Can't read my poker face, my po-poker face. Can't read my pok-"

"AIIEE, MY EARS HURT!" Pippin cried, covering his ears and jumping up and down.

"Same here," Aragorn said, covering his ears with ear-muffs.

Gandalf just hummed along to the song. He stopped, seeing them look in his direction. "What, I like that song!"

Aragorn started to sing a slow, about like a funeral march, elvish song. "Ú i vethed na i onnad si boe ú-dhanna, ae ú-esteli, esteliach nad..." and on and on.

Pippin was swaying, and then hit something behind him. It fell down somewhere. Crash. Bang. Boom-boom.

"OMGAWATEVA!" Gandalf cried. "To the Bridge of Khadaz- khahz- ko- WHATEVER!"

And they ran. And then there were noises. They were noises that sounded like a toilet that was trying to flush but was blocked up. They were at the bridge.

Gandalf's mouth moved. *BEEP* "I don't have any more Clorox!"

"Damn!" the elf cried. "When we need it most!"

And the Balrog was there. They called him something like, Durin's Bear or somthing similar.

"You cannot pass, Flame of, um, Whatever!" Gandalf called up to the creature. "I wield the Flame of, uh, Different Whatever! YOUR ASS IS GRASS!"

There was a crack. The Balrog fell down. Gandalf disappeared. The Fellowship, along with Kazi and Haldir, peered over into the chasm in horror. "Gandalf...? Gandalf!"

"Never had a good balance," Frodo remarked.

"Oh well, let's get out of here!" Haldir cried hoarsely.

Then ran out the exit. They were among strange noises.

"No one told me that there is a bazaar here..." Legolas began slowly.

"HEY YO!" a female voice shouted. A very beautiful elf was standing with a highlighted orange cap and a green flower decorating it, flip-flops, and loose and baggy pants and shirt, pink and orange, with pink flowers on the orange parts and orange flowers on the pink parts.

"Mah name be Arwen Undómiel, yo. I got the BEST DEALS ANYWHERE!" She made a peace sign with her fingers. "We got beach shirts-" she held up a blue shirt with palms "- some jew'l'ry-" she held up a necklace with smilies, peace signs, hearts and such "- and finally somethin' to prove our AFRO LOVE!" she almost roared the last two words, and she put on an afro wig. She grumbled when she had to take ot off again to remove her cap, which stopped the wig from staying on her head.

Aragorn drooled at her. Kazi was taken aback. Haldir looked at her, with a dazed expression. Pippin blinked. Frodo and Sam stared. Merry gaped. Legolas looked expressionless. Gimli grumbled.

Boromir was pretending to play a guitar in the air. Everyone looked at him. "Wha'?" he asked, as if not knowing what their problem is.

Arwen wasn't going to let go so easily. "So come today and, FOR VERY CHEAP, you can prove your AFRO LOVE!"

Aragorn still drooled. His eyes said everything – 'H-O-T W-O-M-A-N'.

"I thought hippie went out of fashion," Frodo commented. He had pocket a hippie bracelet stealthily though.

"The what, now?" Pippin asked.

"Nevermind."

* * *

Will Arwen convince the Fellowship to buy her hippie items? Where did Gandalf go? Are they going to get to Lórien?

You can find out soon! Or not O.O

Anywho... TBC


	10. Lets get moving, or, snog?

Aragorn started bouncing in his spot.

Everyone stared. Or, almost everyone; Frodo seemed to become quite interested in a buttercup on the ground.

Kazi merely grumbled a bit, hugging Haldir.

"Wancomwus?" Aragorn's words ran together.

Arwen looked at him sternly, like a teacher trying to have three-year-olds very hard literacy. "Please – speak – so – that – I – can – un – der – stand – you," she broke up the syllables.

Aragorn slowed his voice mockingly, "Wan – na – come – with – usssssssss?" and he dragged the last word on.

"If you buy a token of AFRO LOVE," she pointed to the afro-wig.

"And how much is that?"

Arwen look at the sky thoughtfully. "Hmmm-hmmm... for... five kisses on the lips!" she bargained with a beam.

"DEAL!" the reply came mechanically.

"Right, heading to- Where're we going?" Boromir asked.

"Lothlórien."

"My granny lives there!" Arwen cheered.

"She's not an ugly bat though, is she?" Sam sounded a little frightened.

Arwen ignored him.

Then they headed for Lothlórien. However, they saw that Frodo remained on the spot where he had been, studying the buttercup. Gimli went back and brought him over.

"... and if that happens again, I swear to Aule that that I will take that Ring and I'd even give it to Pippin. At least HE'S such a coward he stays with the group..."

At this even Pippin was frightened.

Meanwhile Legolas was complaining about his again-lost make-up box to Merry, because no one else would listen to a single word of what the Prince of Mirkwood was saying. Merry looked simply bored, occasionally saying 'yeah' and 'sure'.

Frodo cried out.

"WHAT?"

"I don't know which of these is the One Ring!" Frodo whined miserably. He held three identical golden rings.

Aragorn poked him, "Poke."

"Frodo, you know, I am starting to think I am smarter than you," Pippin said. "Just put each of them on and whichever makes you invisible..."

Frodo frowned.

"Why are we going to Lothlórien again?" Merry enquired.

"There's an amusement park there I've been dying to visit," Aragorn replied simply.

"Is it better than Disneyland?" Sam was excited.

"I'm sure it is..." The ranger looked questioningly at Arwen.

"FAR better," she informed them, her eyes gleaming. They were all content.

They had walked about an hour when Arwen demanded her kisses.

So she concealed herself and Aragorn in a bush for a few minutes while the others played a few games of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'.

Kazi was getting left behind, since she was bringing Haldir as well, you was barely conscious.

Aragorn's and Arwen's snogging gave her time to catch up and bring out her outrage on the fellowship.

"Will you PLEASE slow down, or help me carry poor Haldir? We're both getting left behind!" she was very annoyed.

"No one told you bring that blondie along," Gimli snapped.

"Do you suppose I should've just let him DIE there?"

"YES."

Kazi glared. Gimli glared. They glared more. They glared even more. Sam was bored, so he started glaring too. Sam glared at a tree, however.

Merry had a brilliant idea and whispered to Sam. Sam's eyes turned rounder and sparkled.

He jumped up. "I WILL MAKE MY PO – TA – TOES MEAL!" he cried out, sounding like the happiest living creature.

"Valar help us," Frodo muttered, and meanwhile, Legolas climbed on a branch. He wasn't going anywhere NEAR Sam's cooking.

Merry looked to the bush. "Will they ever stop?" he sighed.

* * *

What will happen next? Will the new couple stop snogging? Will Sam bring their doom upon them – his PO-TA-TOES meal?

You can find out soon... Or not O.O

Anywho... TBC


	11. THEY'RE BACK AGAIN!

Just that moment Aragorn's head popped up, looking a little dazed. He put one of his hands on his cheek and then looked at his palm. It was clean. Shooh, Arwen didn't wear lipstick!

"Just in time," Pippin exhaled in relief. Sam looked at the ground, looking sulkier than ever.

They walked for an hour, Frodo was debating with Boromir who's hair looks better.

Gimli was bickering with Merry, insisting that steak is better than chicken-leg.

Pippin was picking up daisies.

Legolas was trying to comb his hair with his fingers.

Sam was plotting his revenge.

Aragorn was staring at Arwen. Arwen ignored him and looked ahead.

Kazi grumbled. Haldir whimpered.

They went along, on this boulevard of broken dreams, where the-

"OH ELBERETH, HE'S BACK AGAIN!" yelled Legolas.

They turned to see who he was talking about. It was the skeleton they had seen earlier. How did he get over here so fast?

Before they could ask, the skeleton saw the look on their faces and said, "Apparated."

Silence...

"What?" Gimli asked gruffly.

The skeleton rolled his head a bit around. ::Never mind::

"Can we stop now? I'm thirsty," Merry moaned.

The group was walking beside a river now.

"Nimrodel!" cried Legolas. His awed face turned into horror.

A dolphin was swimming through the river, and on it was THE Lady GaGa. She was wearing odd boots, a red something that looked like a swimming suite with a hood, she had gloves and sunglasses too. "Just dance, gonna be okay, da-doo-doo-doo-mmm, Just dance, spin that record babe-"

The dolphin was literally going crazy. It started to writhe and then drowned, while GaGa climbed out.

A strange noise, souding like 'WHAATTYYYAAAA!', came from Arwens mouth. She leaped into the air, (for a moment looking like Michael Flatly dancing), her fingers pointed to Lady GaGa and there was a flash of light, a big bang, a squeal and then nothing.

Lady GaGa was lying on the ground.

"I am not sure if she is dead, but let us get away from here, yo," Arwen said in a loud whisper. She flung her hair back, and put on her afro wig.

"Okay, what will we do about Mr Skeleton?" Sam asked.

Everyone looked at the skeleton.

He sighed and introduced himself, "I am Skulduggery Pleasant, I work with a girl called Valkyrie, have you seen her?"

Gimli made a 'tuh!' noise when he had said 'Pleasant'. When was anything pleasant about skeletons?

Haldir let out a long, loud shriek: About thirty of the Mary-Sue and 10th Walker fanfic-writers and fangirls were back.

"THEY'RE BACK AGAIN!"

"We can take them!" Boromir said defiantly, yet unsurely added 'or not...' when about twice as much appeared again.

Aragorn was hurriedly giving out orders, "Pippin, you stand here, no- HERE, and Arwen, right over there, and Gimli, stay where you are, Legolas, you're fine too, Frodo..." and on and on he went, until they were all surrounded.

One of them was leaning over towards Legolas, accidentally drooled on Pippin, who leapt back and hit Gimli, who almost fell over and hit one of the fangirls, who thought some other girl banged into her, and started shouting. Others started to join in, until they were all bellowing at each other.

Arwen pointed her hands all over the place and cried, "WHATTTYYYAAAA!" There were flashes of light, bangs, and a lot of squeals.

"I had to split up the power," Arwen said to the others, before they thought they were dead and got very excited, "So they will only be knocked out for about ten minutes, so RUN!"

And they ran (even Kazi with Haldir – no one was going to take him!). So they ran, until Pippin started to trip all the time.

* * *

What will happen next? Will the girls wake up and resume pursuit of the group? What will happen to Lady GaGa?

You can find out soon! Or not 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	12. I've been sent back

-Meanwhile, in the Halls of Mandos-

The spirits were going haywire. They couldn't bear this anymore... not- anymore- !

"Ga- ga- ooh- la- la! Want your bad romance. I want your ugly-"

"MANDOS! PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!" screamed a spirit of an elf.

Lady GaGa's spirit had come to the Halls of Mandos. And she was torturing the spirits of all.

"I want your-"

"PLEASE MANDOS, I BEG OF YOU!" screamed the spirit of a man.

"As long as it's free-"

Mandos couldn't bear it either. Thousands of shrieking spirits, plus this, something, uh, like, what is this supposed to be, MUSIC?

"Everybody," he said loudly, before realising he was saying something wrong, "I mean, every-SPIRIT, of course, there are no bodies here, not that it matters much... so, ANYHOW, I don't know what I can do for you-" meanwhile, GaGa was singing on, ignoring all else "but I will check with Manwë what is to be done, and how."

So Mandos left the screeching noises of his Halls, and went to Manwë.

"Ah, my dear friend, Mandos," he greeted pleasantly, "What has brought you to me in this hour?"

"Well," Mandos began uncertainly, "I got a new spirit in the Halls, and well, the other spirits, are getting tormented, from its, uh, sound... and well, I do not know what to do. I seek your counsel."

"It is well up to. A spirit of man or elf, is it?" Manwë asked politely.

"Man. Or woman, rather. It is Lady GaGa," Mandos admitted.

"That does make perfect sense then," Manwë stated, not seeming too surprised.

"And it's giving me a headache too," added Mandos, desperate to get GaGa out of his dwelling place.

"I guess we COULD send her back," Manwë said, "but since she annoys so many, maybe to be AGAINST them..." he trailed off.

"May I ask what you are speaking of?"Mandos tried to sound as meek as possible.

"Maybe, we could send her off to spy on the Fellowship... in league with Sauron!" Manwë started to be excited.

"Put her against ourselves?" suddenly Mandos was talking quite indecorously. "In league with Sauron- makes no sense AT ALL!"

"I am the King of the Valar, I decide," Manwë said dully. Mandos raised his eyebrows. "Lady GaGa will spy on the Fellowship."

"Anyways, won't she be a bit, I mean, VERY conspicuous?" enquired Mandos. "Have you ever seen how she dresses?"

"Who cares, honestly?" Manwë didn't, and that was a firm fact. "Anyways, I guess a lot of people would be copying her style, no? I seriously do not see the point, but, ah, well."

Mandos sighed. No point arguing, really. Manwë always has his way – always. Or, almost always anyway. He did not want to start these stupid wars in Middle-Earth and he could not stop it. Sigh!

"You. Are. Unbelievable." Mandos stared at Manwë. "And unbelievable you are."

"What-everrr, losa'!" Manwë ran away.

Mandos just looked after him incredulously, his eyes only saying, "Wuh, Tuh, Fuh..."

-Back to Middle-Earth-

Lady GaGa stood up. "I have been sent back, until my task is done."

* * *

What will happen next? How will GaGa stay disguised? Or will she be disguised at all? And will she complete her task?

You can find out soon! Or not... 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	13. Lórien Theme Park!

It was dusk by the time the Fellowship reached Lothlórien.  
They were all pleased; Kazi wouldn't have to drag Haldir anymore, and the rest of the Fellowship were happy to get rid of them. Plus Arwen could help her grandmother knit.

Oops, scratch that last.

Anywho... so, they arrived at the Lórien Theme Park! (cheers!)

The chaos only started when Pippin bumped into Santa Claus.

"AAAAAAAAAARGH!" he screamed, and hid behind a duck. Who's name was Bob.

"Right, so where are we supposed to go?" Aragorn asked, looking around with wide eyes.

There was everything there; even a rollercoaster! There was Starbucks (which Gimli eyed most, in particular), and mushroom store (the hobbits went crazy), a Rimmel Hairstylist (Legolas left without telling anything to the others), Kazi headed for the sickbay, and Boromir was observing a strip-tease club.

Aragorn just held Arwen's hand, and she was watching a My Little Pony themed rollercoaster.

"Why did we come here again?" Merry asked, his mouth full of mushroom.

"We, um... came to see the Lady of the Golden Woods..." mumbled Boromir, not really taking his eyes or mind off the club.

Pippin still hadn't emerged from behind the duck.

And Frodo disappeared.

"Where is Mister Frodo?" enquired Sam.

"Hehe, he must have put on that Ring!" Gimli laughed.

Sam's eyes widened a little. "But, won- won't that draw Sauron near?" he spluttered.

_OMG_...

Aragorn broke the silence. "Honestly, Pippin, get out away from behind that duck!"

"No!"

::_Gosh, he's behaving like a 5-year-old_::, Aragorn thought.

Boromir seemed to have stopped staring at the, um, interesting club, "Hey, weren't we here to see the, um... Lady of Light?"

Arwen spoke for the first time in a while. "Yes, we came to see my grandmother."

"You, wha- grand-? Whattt??"

Arwen nodded.

An elf suddenly jumped out in front of them.

"Bonjour! Io mi chiamo Celeborn! Cé tusa? Viszlát!"

He ran away.

The Fellowship stared.

Gimli 'hm'-ed. "I wish Gandalf was here. Maybe he would know what he just said. And what language it was in."

"I think one of them was Klingon!" Merry said brightly, stuffing his mouth with more mushrooms, which made Pippin glare at him.

"Well, for a fact, he defiantly did not speak elvish!" Aragorn said.

Arwen coughed. "That was my grandfather."

Gimli looked at her in disbelief. "What th- you- fath- gra-WHAT?"

Arwen nodded once more.

Sam cried out.

Lady GaGa was there, looking like she was trying to touch something invisible, crossed with something that is halfway through weird moves and dance moves.

"Where is the preciousssss?"

"RUUUUN!"

Frodo appeared out of nowhere.

And they fled. Fled for their lives.

* * *

What will happen next? Will GaGa continue pursuit? Will she succeed? Where do they flee? And what of Legolas...?

You can find out soon! Or not... 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	14. Room 007

Someone coughed behind them after they ran about twenty seconds.

Lady Galadriel!

She opened her mouth to speak but stopped abruptly as another elf came hurrying in, and worriedly whispered something in her – pointy (extra emphesis (sp? xD) on that) – ear.

"Well, like, if you have realised that, like, you should, like, totally, like, leave, like, Stardoll."

"What?" Aragorn asked.

"Ah! Hello Mr... Telcontar-whatevah!" she greeted him.

"Oh, and Arwen too, welcome deary!"

She examined the group and then said, "Well, I am truly sorry but I cannot talk to you right now, I have to attend a play or two of snooker. Hya- Hia- Hiya.. whatever her name is" she looked pointedly to the elven girl beside her, "will show you to your rooms, I can't give well good apartments currently, but... well... never mind!"

And with that, she left.

"Right," Merry said.

"Come with me," said that 'whatever-her-name-is' elf, "Well, all our rooms are full, so the best accommodation we can give, is to share a room with some of the Lady's guests- um, friends."

She led them to a room that had a number sign on it, saying '007'.

"Lady Arwen," 'whatever-her-name-is' said, "you have a different room to stay in. Lady Galadriel also told me to notify you that you are grounded until May."

Arwen looked at her wide-eyed. "What." She didn't even sound it was meant to be a question, but rather a sentence.

"You heard me, Lady," the elven girl said with a sigh. "You come with me. The rest of you, just go in to room o, o, seven."

So Arwen sulkily followed the other elf until they were out of sight.

The Fellowship – minus Gandalf, who fell in Moria; and Legolas, who was in the Hairstylist – entered the apartment.

It was filled with old Victorian ladies, giggling and drinking and sitting and talking. It was a very creepy sight, I tell you.

"Gertrude!" one of them cried. "There is a man in our bed!"

An old man popped up going, "Bleh!"

Another lady said, "Petunia, there is another man with him!"

Another old man popped up saying, "Bleeeh," as well.

Gimli closed the door in front of them, and opened it again. Seeing that nothing happened, he let everyone go in.

"Oh, my," one of the old women said in an amazed voice. "You children have a lot to grow!" She pointed to the hobbits.

Then she added to Pippin, "Especially you."

Pippin blinked.

Frodo coughed, after he put away the Ring, of course.

"Where are we supposed to sleep?"

The old lady who previously spoke looked to him. "Why yes, sleeping helps you grow," she said intellectually.

The Fellowship stared.

* * *

What will happen next? Will they sleep in that room? Will they STAY in that room? Will they manage to speak to Galadriel?

You can find out soon! Or not... 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	15. Meeting and Getting the fBEEP out?

Gimli closed the door.

"We have to get to Lady Galadriel," he said plainly. "This is just... eek."

The others, too, were lost for words.

In the hallway an elf was just passing by.

Aragorn tapped his shoulder. "Excuse me but do you know where Lady Galadriel generally spends her free time?"

The elf pointed down to a little stairs going down, at the end a door which said 'GAME ROOM'.

Boromir had, for some unknown reason, a little poor eyesight, so he edged closer to see what the door read. But then he fell down the stairs. Typical much, is it not?

"Dude, you just fell down the stairs," Merry remarked.

Boromir stood up and looked around. "What- oh, uh, um... no I didn't..." He looked around around.

"Yes. Sure," Frodo sent a tiny glare at him. I THINK jokingly. But who knows...?

The Fellowship walked down the stairs and Pippin opened the door.

Hell yea it was some game room!  
There was everything in there. Literally. Even caged birds, and I've no idea what they were doing there, so just don't ask!

They immediately spotted the Lady of the Golden Woods sitting in front of a computer, apparently playing some game, not even noticing that they had entered.  
Suddenly the screen lost the colour, turning grey. Galadriel cursed loudly. "I hate PvP!"

Sam gasped, "Did you just say the 'F' word?"

Galadriel jumped up. "Wai- what- oh uh, um, it's just well-" she turned back to the computer and hit the Windows button on the keyboard quickly and it minimized the screen of the game. But before she could continue Boromir yelled.

"HOLY CRAP! Is that World of Warcraft?! Oh my, haven't played that in forever! Please-please-please can I...?!"

Galadriel blushed.

"Uhm, well, how about we have our meeting instead?"

She kicked the computer box hard. So hard that it shut off - or maybe ruined it completely.

"Well, eh, there's the elevator." She pointed to the elevator beside her and motioned for the Fellowship to come in.

* * *

5 minutes later they were seated in a long chamber, with Legolas present as well – he had gotten an extra-shine on his hair, and looked pleasantly pleased with it.

Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn then entered slowly, ascending the stairs, reaching the table, and about to sit down.

"Hey!" Celeborn yelped. "That's MY seat, this one is yours!"

"No it is not!"

"It is!"

"But I am not the pineapple!"

"Well, Radio 5 reporting!"

"Well it's no periodic table of sex."

"My mom called me pepito and the end is near."

"And Power Rangers suck!"

"But I never got my pop tart!"

"Hyaba is the truffle, so DIE, SATAN!"

"Destruction, destruction, Johnny Depp arrived."

"I'm SO not a tart!"

"Tart."

"Shut up!"

"Taaaart."

"What the f-" *BEEP* "am I doing here?!"

"Trumpets sound, and angels sing."

"I am no tart."

Galadriel banged her own head on the table. Then she shoved Celeborn on the floor.

The Lady then addressed the Fellowship. "You know what? This meeting is pointless, unlike my ears. So how about I give y'all gifts and then you get the hell out of here?"

Aragorn and Legolas nodded dumbfoundedly. The others just stared, taken aback by the conversation the Lady and the Lord had a few seconds previously. They would be scarred by this forever.

"Right!" Galadriel walked to the side of the room to a mirrored drawer and opened it. She took out a sword-case. "Oh, Aragorn, I forgot to give this to you your previous birthday!" She threw it at him.

"A couple of knives, whoever takes them-" she threw them behind herself, and did the same with the other items. "Rope, a box of something, and hm look, alas! some old perfume or something in a vial, I don't know what the hell it is; anyways, a bow that I never used-" as she threw it back it whacked Legolas on the head, who swayed, returned fully conscious, and picked up the bow.

"And a nice belt too, don't need it, and- EEEEWW!"

She squealed. She was holding a hairbrush with her hair in it. She swiftly ripped out the hair and threw it behind her (which Gimli caught), and then she threw the brush itself to the other side of the room, which collided into a mirror, which, obviously, smashed and shattered across the floor.

"Right!" Galadriel exclaimed once more. "You can go away." She coughed and then said, "Actually, really get the f-" *BEEP* "out of here, because you are f-" *BEEP* "-in' annoying the f-" *BEEP* "out of me, alrighty?"

She smiled sweetly and threateningly.

* * *

What will happen next? Will the shattered mirror be cleaned up? Will the Fellowship 'get the f- *BEEP* out' of there?

You can find out soon! Or not... 0.0

Anywho... TBC


	16. CHAPTER FIFTEEN AND A HALF

All of the Fellowship nodded, dumbfounded even more by now.

... this was... simply... no words for it

They started to edge out of the room slowly, not taking their eyes off Galadriel, who wasn't taking her eyes off them either.

Galadriel looked at her watch right as the Fellowship had exited.

The last thing that the group heard, was a cry of shock and rage; "GOD DAMMIT, I MISSED WATCHING DEGRASSI AGAIN!"

At that point they broke into a sprint, very much wanting to leave this madhouse.

They went into the local bakery and bought heeeeaaaps of lembas. Why, they WERE going on a long journey!

Lórien Theme Park had a boat-rowing activity – of course, our favourite group of idiots- *cough* I mean THE FELLOWSHIP, took advantage of this.

They only had to wait 7 minutes until the supervisor left to restroom, and it wasn't a surprise – he had been eating McDonald's while watching visitors happy singing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' while rowing their boats.

So they grabbed (or pushed them into the water rather, if you want me to be so literal) the boats, and started singing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' just for the sake of it.

~ Row, row, row your boat,

Gently down Andúin,

If you see an angry orc,

Don't forget to scream! ~

And so they rowed, rowed, rowed their boats, down the Andúin.

And they did so gently, until Boromir spotted something ahead of them which made him put on an expression that resembled this smiley: O.O

* * *

I shall not put one of those things that I usually put at the end of my chapters, because this isn't a proper chapter. :] But the proper next chapter is coming right ahead!


	17. GUIDO'S DEATH and Lolwhut!

It was a ... newpaper.

In about 3 seconds, it was within enough range for Boromir to reach it, and he looked at the front cover.

Then he burst into tears.

"Now I can't dress like a decent guido!" he sobbed. "How will I get hot guidas? How will I be able to dress otherwise?" He continued saying 'how will I'-s. While the others stared, of course.

"Wazzup, B'romir?" Aragorn asked him, at the same time looking at his sneakers with great smugness on his face.

Boromir looked up at Aragorn his eyes full of tears. He held up the newpaper – the headlines was in big bold letters; 'R.I.P. ALEXANDER McQUEEN'.

Aragorn's mouth popped wide open. "No – friggin – way."

'Alexander McQueen, worldwide famous fashion-designer, committed suicide after the death of his mother. He was only at the year of 40-'

"I AM FORTY!" Boromir exclaimed.

"And I'm almost ninety," sighed Aragorn.

"And I'm over three thousand," Legolas cried. "But I'm not sure exactly how much-" he pointed to his hair "- I'm a blond, see."

"I AM TWENTY-EIGHT," shouted Pippin unexpectedly.

"Yes," Merry said, "but anyone would think that your brain stopped developing when you were five."

Pippin thought at what Merry just said for a while.

"Indeed," he said plainly.

Aragorn poked him. "Poke."

"Ah- !"

The... RAUROS.

Wait... weren't there supposed to be the big statues, the Argonath first? *glares*... RAUROS!

"To the shore!" Frodo yelled.

"Why, yes, Mister Frodo!" yelled Sam.

Pippin, Merry and Boromir's boat was the first one to reach the shore because their boat was nearest to the shore, duh. Then it was Aragorn, Frodo and Sam's boat, and Legolas and Gimli's last, not because they were furthest from the shore but because they had been bickering who had better boat-rowing skills.

Frodo gasped suddenly. "My... v-vintage C-c-coco Chan-chanel bracelet! It... it... it fell in the water!" A single tear rolled down his face. (Awh!)

"And / am hungry!" Pippin 'humph'ed.

"Oh, dear Ilúvatar, why is there some sort of festival wherever we go?!" Legolas whined.

There was a fun fair right where they had gotten out of the boats.

Sam was looking the other way, though. "Strider! I- there is something in the water! Look that's a moving log!"

"Sam, are you sure you aren't high?" Aragorn asked with a look of concern on his face.

"I'm pretty sure, sir," Sam said, looking down. "Last time I remember doing anything that would make me high was... uhm... 5 hours ago, so it would have worn off by now."

"Right..." Aragorn still looked at Sam suspiciously.

A siren suddenly went on.

'ORCS.' 'ORCS.' 'ORCS.' 'ORCS.'

"Run for your lives!" roared Boromir and sprinted off, jumping into the van of target-shooting game.

MOST UNFORTUNATELY, as he was running through, someone, *sniff*, shot him with an arrow.

"Whoa-shit-man," the guy said, and he too, ran for his life, as Boromir sank to his knees, dying. He grabbed a teddy on the shelf and screamed at it, "WHY?!" and then, with a dramatic ring, he fell to the ground, and was dead.

Dun dun DUUUUUN.

* * *

What will happen ne- WAIT! THIS IS SO NOT THE END OF THE CHAPTER YET!

The uruk-hai were singing some sort of- or rather, humming a sort of march beat. Something like 'du, duru-du, duru- du! Du! Du!' over and over again and it sounded quite odd.

The Fellowship awaited their fates for some reason. They stood. They didn't flee. They were brave warriors. Or maybe they were just plain ole eejits. (YAYS FOR IRISH REFERENCES :D)

The leader stood out and opened a roll of parchment and read it. "Saruman the White has invited the so-called 'Fellowship' to a tea-party on Sunday afternoon. Accept or decline?"

Gimli pondered for about 2 seconds saying 'hm...' and then announced... "DECLINE."

The Uruk-hai look at him. "Well, then, um..." he looked down at the sheet again, "you, then... uh," he looked closer. "... YOU MUST DIE THEN."

Pippin sniffed. "I don't want to die," he said tearfully.

The uruk looked at him. "Well I'll see you in hell!" and with that, he grabbed him by the arm as he yelped and threw him into the army. "TIE HIM UP!"

"Pippin, nooooo!" cried Merry and flung himself at the leader but dived a bit side-ways and fell on the ground and the uruks grabbed him as well.

Aragorn leapt forward and cut off the leaders head.

But the army paid no attention and started running. 'Du, duru-du, duru- du! Du! Du! Du, duru-du, duru- du! Du! Du!'

Dun dun DUUUUUUUUUN.

* * *

And thus ends THE REAL FELLOWSHIP.


	18. D n00b iz sndig SPOILARZ

hi dis iz d n00b of d wrld h4xing int d story set in a person'z hed lulz nd i desidid to givez u all bbz sum SPOILARZ mahaha lulz

* * *

The uruk-hai continue taking Pippin and Merry to a tea-party of Saruman's making by force. Who knows what such tea can taste like? But after all, our favourite tree decides to take a detour to the toilet...

Meanwhile Frodo and Sam surf to the other side of the Anduin and meet Gollum and a crazed cat named Merlin. Apparently Gollum is obsessed with cats and eating fish, to unknown – but certainly disturbing – reasons.

Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas head towards Rohan because Gimli got knews of having won the Lottery of Meduseld. But when a certain royal rapper turns them away, magic happens... real magic.

And what's with Faramir and watching 'The Witches of Eastwick' all the time?

It all sure is exciting, as the Fellowship journey further into Middle-Earth, finding out about the REAL Towers...

THE REAL TOWERS...

... Coming REAL soon.


End file.
